Monday, May 12, 2014

Slowing Down And Almost Stopping

It's been forever and yadda yadda yadda...

You've heard all that before. Let's just skip it, okay?

The thing is, I have things to say. Words overflowing from my brain with nowhere to go. So here they shall spill.

I'm due with Baby Number Six in just a few days. For some reason, there is more anxiety this time around than ever ever ever before. I don't know why. There just is.

My body said, "I give up!" about ten weeks ago. I've felt weak. I've felt worn out. I've felt impatient and I've just settled for all of that. I mean, I've tried to count it all joy and all that, but the truth is this time around, I've just needed to crawl in my cave and hibernate.

Being quiet feels good right now. Being home feels good right now. Being with my kids and my husband and just ticking away the days slowly and gently and with the least amount of plans possible feels really good right now.

I'm turning inward. I'm slowing down and almost stopping. I'm breathing and releasing and waiting.

And soon the little one will be here. And we can start things up again, start doing and going and planning and venturing again.

But until then? I'll be right here, letting God's plan unfold, completely out of my control, just the way He wants it to be.

1 comment:

Ashley and Joe said...

Just found your blog- I like it! I'm due in July with my 4th and my body has quit too :) I'm done! You really look like Scarlett Johannsen (spelling?) in your profile pic- anyone every say that before??